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The National Parenting Service out of Muscadine has just issued a "kids are
getting out of school" warning. Moms and dads are to be prepared for trips to
the pool, the lake, driving up I-20 to Douglasville to Chuck E. Cheese's to see
how many tokens it will take to win the
tickets to get a whoopie cushion. Presley and Callie have already told me
that they want to spend a lot of time out in Tallapoosa playing with the kids
next door. Meghann celebrates her 6th birthday on Sunday. She has asked her
parents for a parade down Head Avenue with Hannah
Montana and the entire cast from "High School Musical". She said she would
settle for the deed to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina. Her
brother Braden "Bobo" Glaze is 2 and will either be a United States Senator or a
pit boss at a Las Vegas casino. Bobo should be put in charge of the demolition
of any buildings that are deemed uninhabitable in our town because I saw him
tear down a Dixie Steel building with a rubber hammer earlier this spring. I
played in the Leeman Bennett Celebrity Golf Classic last Monday with former
Dodgers, Mets, Pirates, Red Sox, Marlins and Braves pitcher Alejandro Pena. He
is best known for his late season success with the Braves in '91. The
Domincan born Pena can hit a golf ball as good as hurling a fast ball in his
prime in Major League Baseball. I invited him to Tallapoosa to play at our city
owned course sometime soon. Did you all see the news about a new airline
catering exclusively to pets will be taking to the skies this July with a
promise to make air travel everything the domestic animal could want. Forget the
seats with the extra leg room, on this flight all the passengers wants the seat
closest to the fire hydrant. I see the nation's budget deficit is to top 1.8
trillion dollars. The only thing spending money faster is Presley and Callie at
Wal Mart. Did you all see where a woman in Birmingham, England has collected
more than 5,000 bars of soap from all over the world with the exception of
France where from a trip I made there a few years ago discovered they don't use
it. The Tallapoosa River is really flowing since all the rain of the past few
weeks. Bud Jones said a guy caught a fish so big out of there, they had to send
it to Lockheed to get it mounted. The man who taught me how to fish Cohen
McClain died on the 6th at the age of 88. His son Scotty is my oldest friend and
I have fond memories of Cohen teaching me how to bait a hook with a cricket or a
minnow. He taught me that crappie like shad minnows
and he was there when I landed my first one as a boy. He also broke me of ever
using anything with tobacco in it. When we were on a fishing trip one time, I
asked Cohen for a plug of his Bull of the Woods Chewing Tobacco. He said sure
and after a violent burst of nausea, I gave it up after about a minute.
Everyone who gets breakfast at Jack's will miss this kind and gentle man. You
could see him with his cup of coffee holding court over on the west wall of the
restaurant visiting with friends and sharing a joke or two. I had a chance
to visit Cohen's daughter Cindy that I haven't seen in ages who lives at
Pawley's Island, South Carolina. It is kind of an expensive place to live. My
friends the Whitlock's took us there a few years ago and we went to a seafood
restaurant that had an all you care to eat brunch buffet for only $400 a person,
but those cheese eggs were really good. I want to commend the public works
department of our town for the great job of keeping the streets clean and
looking good.
As a matter of fact I am only picking up no more than three or four malt liquor
cans a week off the Freeman Street side of the yard. Have you noticed how OPEC
has priced gasoline higher just in time for people to start going on vacations?
I am now budgeting for a trip to Buncombe this summer.
Rhubarb Jones is a Tallapoosa native and serves as a member of administrative
faculty at
Kennesaw State University. He can be contacted via email at
Rhubarbjones@aol.com or by writing P.O. Box 1001, Tallapoosa, GA, 30176
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