Santa List 12/24/11

I would like to make my Christmas list to you to see if you could put the following items on your sleigh for the trip to Tallapoosa Christmas Eve night? I would like for you to bring Bud Jones a collection of recordings by Roy Acuff and Faron Young. Bud taught me about Mr. Acuff's music. He told me that he was the Kenny Chesney of the 1940s. Santa, you might not know this but Bud was in the service with Faron Young in the early 50s. Santa can you bring the local senior adult community choir the Singalongs more members. They need some more voices. You know Mr. Claus folks can call Lynn Cole at 770 574 7796 to know more about the community choir. Santa please the area pastors more folks to fill up the pews. We have some wonderful houses of worship here. I would also like to request a 15 pound large mouth bass for Mayor Pete Bridges to catch. I also request you bring Officer Raymond Ballew some more manuals on repairing television sets. Tallapoosa had some great TV repairmen over the years like Clyde Ashmore and Red Knight but Raymond knows more about them than any broadcast engineer I ever worked with. I am asking you to bring Karen and the marvelous staff at the Tallapoosa Public Library a bunch of donors to keep our growing library among the best in this part of the state. The local library is the only access to the Internet for a lot of people. By the way, do you have a Facebook and Twitter account? Just asking. I would also like to put on my list a new fire helmet and an mint condition copy of the first Superman comic book for my longtime friend Scott McClain. He does a great job in his leadership role with the Tallapoosa Fire Department and I am proud to call him my oldest friend. Santa can you bring our friend Dana Rutherford a recording and song writing contract from Nashville? She is deserving of it. Mr. Claus we need to get morning guy Bobby Gaines of WKNG an egg timer. He knows why. WKNG's host of Tradeline Jimmy Talbot needs a book on singing on key. He knows why. Please bring Jan Patterson the nice lady who runs the office at King Country a whip and a chair to keep Bobby, Jimmy, James and Seth in line. Please bring Sheriff Eddie Mixon a 55 gallon drum of candy for him to toss out at the next parade in Tallapoosa. Santa, can you bring Jackie Roberts some time. She is about to not have any with tax season coming up. Jimmy Rowell who is an enrolled agent with the Interal Revenue Service, please bring Jimmy more time to ride his Harley. Mr. Claus if it isn't too much trouble to load on your sleigh, can you bring the ladies at the deli at the Piggly Wiggly something nice. If I am hungry for fried chicken and deviled eggs, they have it ready for me. The people at the Family Dollar and the Dollar General have worked hard this Christmas season and they deserve something special too. My daughters refer to those two stores as "the mall." Can you also bring everybody a greater awareness of the importance of spaying and neutering cats and dogs. My little cat Bama got spayed a few weeks ago and she seems to have stopped howling in the middle of the night and has stopped jumping on top of the Christmas tree. I want to thank you for all the footballs, bicycles, air rifles, electric train and race car sets, socks, underwear, flannel shirts, and Sunday shoes over the years. I still believe in your magic. The only thing I really want this year is a Crockpot that will cook for one. I think it is great that Gene Autry sang about you coming right down Santa Claus Lane. I want you to come right down Rhubarb Lane. I live in the brick house on the corner. I am again leaving milk and cookies out for you. My friend Junior Holcombe who has an establishment on Alabama Avenue left you a pack of Tom's Peanuts and a draft Bud Light last year. Junior's dad was one of the finest men we ever knew. Junior needs a pair of tickets to the BCS game in New Orleans next month. He loves the Crimson Tide. You might want to bring another pair of tickets to his baby sister Candy Holcombe who last year got a pair of hounds tooth pajamas. She has not accepted the fact that Coach Bryant left us almost 29 years ago. I am hoping that you have room on that flying vehicle led by Rudolph, Comet, Blitzen, Donner and the rest of the reindeer, the gift of hope, peace, prosperity, health and good will to the people of my hometown.
We have all been good boys and girls. Thank you and have a safe trip.

Rhubarb Jones

Tallapoosa, Georgia

Rhubarb Jones is a Tallapoosa native and a member of the administrative faculty at Kennesaw State University. Comments are welcome via email at rhubarbjones@aol.com or by snail mail at P. O. Box 1001, Tallapoosa, GA 30176. Previous columns can be found at www.tallapoosa-journal.com and commentaries can be heard weekdays at 11:05 a.m. on the Legend, WKNG.