I don't understand

It really is amazing on just how little I know about things. I have never understood the metric system. I don't know my Celsius from a hole in the ground. A year of kindergarten, 12 years in the school system, 5 years of undergraduate work in college and a master's degree that took 2 years to earn, I still don't know to operate a hammer, screwdriver, or a pair pliers. I was told never to touch anything that said Craftsman or Black and Decker. I don't understand why satellite and cable television are so expensive. I am pondering dropping satellite TV to save well over a thousand dollars a year. It is baffling how no one in Washington seems to understand the concept of not spending money we don't have. It is a mystery how some folks believe the answer is to raise taxes on people that provide the jobs that are desperately needed. It is amazing how some people think the whole tea party movement is some kind of racist plot. Congresswoman Maxine Waters a week ago said that the tea partiers can all go to a place of intense heat, and I'm not talking about Hahira. I am supporting an African-American businessman from Georgia for President of the United States. I think President Obama is perhaps one of the most charismatic politicians this nation has produced. Personally he is quite likeable. We need a leader and not a golfing buddy. I think President Obama is perhaps surrounded by people who don't know the concept of what the average American desires for themselves and their families. Boiling it down, a job with fair wages, an education for their children, affordable health decent housing and the ability to afford to live after retirement are the things I read and hear. How did we get into this economic mess? The foreclosures in Atlanta are being grabbed up by foreign investors.For the price I paid for my house in Tallapoosa 5 years ago, people are buying 10 houses. 10 houses? People were able to get loans once upon a time for houses and luxury cars they couldn't afford. I learned at the hem of my grandmother's apron that if you don't spend money you don't have. "Turn out the lights when you leave the room" she'd shout. More than once did the words "will you shut that door, you're letting the heat out and we had a 40 dollar gas bill last month!" She'd shriek about making a long distance call. She'd preface her lecture with it was wise to have an economy of words because she didn't want to send a bunch of money to Southern Bell. Do you remember them? I am thinking of canceling my home phone in Marietta because I never use the phone at the house. I like many of you use the cell phone. I put a pencil to that too and canceling the home phone would also save me well over a thousand dollars a year. I don't understand how politicians that are Democrats and politicians that are Republicans are against having deficits, then why the devil do we have them? The price of gasoline? Jimmy Carter tried to tell us about getting away from our addiction to foreign oil back in the late 1970's. I don't understand why we have not done more drilling for oil in this country? I don't understand why we haven't put more effort in becoming independent of foreign oil. How is it we've missed the boat at harnessing solar and wind power? Georgia Power got a sizable chunk from me last month. Wish they'd get busy in building nuclear power plants. The French pay a lot less for electricity because of the abundance of cheap power produced at their plants that run on the power of the atom. I don't understand why we the government pays people NOT to grow crops? There is still hunger in this country and around the planet. We have the ability to stop hunger. I have never understood why we make celebrities out of thugs? I am baffled how Jersey Shore is a part of today's pop culture. I wish the guy they call "The Situation" would come to Jack's on Highway 78 some Saturday morning and mouth off to Heinz and Hershell while they are having thier morning coffee. I've never understood why a professional athlete makes so much more money than medical researchers and the dedicated people that save lives? I will never understand why people in law enforcement and public safety are so paid so little. I don't understand the people that think teachers have a cushy job. I can tell you for a fact that the job isn't easy and I have not seen a salary increase going into my fourth year of teaching college. I don't do it for the money anyway. There are so many things that I can't wrap my head around. Why do kids wear their britches so low you could fit a covey of quail in them. I still don't get the nutritional value of Pop Tarts. How is it that we used to have regular and barbecue potato chips? I prefer Golden Flake because Coach Bryant's television show was sponsored by them. I recently surveyed Lay's Potato Chips and what they offer beside the regular ole potato chip. The current selection include dill pickle, salt and vinegar, jalapeno, hot and spicy barbecue, tangy Carolina barbecue, honey barbecue, creamy Mediterranean herb, tomato basil, sweet southern heat, mesquite barbecue, Cajun herb and spice, lightly salted, garden tomato basil, cheese and sour cream and several more varieties of potato chips. Corn chips? Remember when we just had Fritos? When did somebody decide that Americans needed maple bacon? Do you remember when we had one kind of Ritz Crackers? Dear readers, how many flavors of Doritos do we need? I recently bought some John Madden Stadium Nacho flavored Doritos to dip my guacamole. Other things beyond my grasp are how does aspirin know where it hurts when you take them? I take about 6 different vitamins everyday and don't know why except people on television tell us that we need them. I don't understand the designated hitter rule and why as kids we had a rule that if you hit four foul balls you were out? I don't know why I spent 36 years on radio and ran tests for the Emergency Broadcast System. No one ever explained to me why radio and television stations do them. Why do people vandalize a cemetery? Why don't we have stronger statutes that would put Internet hackers in jail for a long, long time? Why aren't the laws on identity theft stronger? Why are there people who think that I am collecting beer and soda cans and leave them strewn on my yard? I never understood why Roy Orbison always wore sunglasses. Do any of you understand the whole Lady Gaga phenomenon? I have never understood the words to any hip-hop song I've ever heard. Why is it that American Bandstand and Soul Train are not on television anymore? I don't get the wholeTwilight franchise of movies. It is hard to get my head around why network television hasn't produced a Western series in years. I miss Rowdy Yates, Marshall Dillon, Miss Kitty and Ben Cartwright. Jack Webb as Joe Friday on Dragnet solved crime without a large CSI unit. What this country needs is more Andy Griffith and less Charlie Sheen.

Rhubarb Jones is a Tallapoosa native and a member of the Country Music Disc Jockey Hall of Fame in Nashville and the Georgia Radio Hall of Fame. Comments are welcome at rhubarbjones@aol.com or write to P.O. Box 1001, Tallapoosa, GA 30176. Previous columns can be found under columns at www.tallapoosa-journal.com. Commentaries are heard weekdays after the "Tradeline" program on WKNG, 1060.